que sara sara

for once, my horrible tendency to spend warrants an entry because at the end of this week, i need to beg for cash.

sat
on: some breaded stingray at some fusion cafe; malibu bay breeze; cab fare
at: marina square; indochine opp fullerton
with: funties

yesterday
on: dinner in three parts
(1) satay, kangkong, salad youtiao, lala, oyster omlette
(2) chapatti, fried dumplings
(3) dessert
at: lao pa sat
with: deb and yz

today
on: three amigos pasta; bratwurst jamboree pizza; irishcream mudpie; sweet temptations
at: nydc; haagen daz (HV)
with: mr chiang

tml
on: movie

fri
on: expensive lunch

oh crap!

the only reason behind having three posts in three hours is that i'm stuck doing my report of a report. the last time i've been so hardworking is almost a year ago. i think. unfortunately, it's a freaking 25% of the final grade so i have to do it even if it kills me.

i've discovered this interesting fact abt myself: i tend to come up with crazy/brave/stupid/alltheabovementioned ideas in the wee hours of the morning. which can be quite detrimental to health and reputation cos i usually carry them out eventually (since i intend to stick to a decision made?). sometimes i question my sanity. so far, nothing really bad has come out of them but whenver i think back on those times, "why the heck did i do that for?!?"

my mother never fails to remind me that i've stopped growing up and start growing out, specifically sideways.

parents, you gotta love them.

how some people apparently derive joy out of manipulating others. is twirling people round her little finger a very fun thing to do? and the saddest part of it is that she makes herself look like the victim at the end of it all. sometimes, i really feel like saying "You deserve it!" in her face whenever her actions bring about nasty consequences. she has yet to learn her lessons and somehow i dont think she ever will in this lifetime.

i feel sorry for the people who have been/are manipulated by her. i guess we all see what we want to. because her actions are so glaringly obvious.

i'll never want to live her life. in my world, things are very clear cut. be nice to those you like and civil to those you dont. what the need for manipulation?


anw, to someone who i know lurks around and read this blog: you owe me big time and i hope you feel guilty for what you have done! :p

[radiohead]

When you were here before, couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel, your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts, I wanna have control
I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice, when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here, ohhh ohhh

She's running out again...
She's running out, she runs, runs, runs, runs... runs...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here

when you start not giving a fucking damn, it speaks volume of the relationship.

i tend to compartmentalise. i categorise almost everything in my life. inanimate objects, even people. doing so tends to satisfy the innate need to belong.

thus, i'm uncomfortable with the fact that i have something uncategorisable in my hands. it's neither black nor white. heck, it's not even considered grey. it falls somewhere in the million shades of grey that exist. somehow, i dont think a lot of pp will be inclined to support my position and actions if they come to hear abt it. which makes everything more complex. i'm more concerned abt other's perceptions of myself than i care to admit.

then again, it's things like these that make life a little bit more quirky, a little less predictable and a whole lot more fun. so at the risk of alarming my whole world (dont worry, i tend to exaggerate), i'll be throwing away quite a number of previously held beliefs and go with my gut.

[bread]

If a picture paints a thousand words,
Then why can't I paint you?
The words will never show the you I've come to know.
If a face could launch a thousand ships,
Then where am I to go?
There's no one home but you,
You're all that's left me too.
And when my love for life is running dry,
You come and pour yourself on me.

If a man could be two places at one time,
I'd be with you.
Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way.
If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die,
I'd spend the end with you.
And when the world was through,
Then one by one the stars would all go out,
Then you and I would simply fly away

listening to this song never fails to make me feel sad

this is what my fav textbook says:

For instance, 'Some cats are mammals' is true because there exists at least one cat that is a mammal. Similarly, the sentence 'Some monkeys are no fish' is true because there exists at least one monkey that is not a fish.

this is ridiculous! why do i only see logical leaps when this particular course is supposed to be on being logical?

"i'll get the money from my parents. sure, they do grumble but will still give it to me in the end. and i'm proud of that (aka being able to get the cash from parents)."

can you believe the statement was uttered by 21yr old university undergraduate? i dont know who i should feel more sorry for: him or his parents. thankfully, he's only an acquaintance. i had half the mind to knock some sense into him if he were a friend. literally.

cos i realise on such days that i am completely illogical and cannot think critically for nuts.

"No man can be a rhapsodist who does not understand the meaning of the poet. For the rhapsodist ought to interpret the mind of the poet to his hearers, but how can he interpret well unless he knows what he means?"

how can i isolate the premises and come up with the conclusion when the whole freaking sentence is speaking greek to me? and that constitutues like 10% of the fab assignment i have to do. someone pls just kill me.

i blog more during sch term cos i'm doing it when i shld be STUDYING. and i will foolishly continue to do so.

maybe he's right . that focusing on the 'bad' things in life will only make them come true. then again, i cant help it. it's not as if i want to focus on them. just that they happoen to be true. like how it will always have to rain when i need to go to sch while the scorching sun makes its appearance when i'm dont. i dont mind the minor stuff coming true. they will merely constitute towards the inconveniences in life. however, i'm now feeling that everything in my life is going smoothly. too smoothly in fact. and that i shld be prepared for things to start crashing down on me soon.

so i'm paranoid.

two weeks in sch and i've finally realised that there's no dress code for us. from the papers no less. not that it'll make any diff. it just reinforces the fact that i always receive filtered down, way overdued info.

was qt funny when one of my classmate was asked by someone if the sch term has started. apparently cos the person feels that there wasnt many people walking around. everyone just happens to be underground. and to a large extent, my sch doesnt look like a sch. at least i'm beginning to adapt to the high-techness of it all.