que sara sara

[Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey]

Many nights we prayed, with no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song, we barely understood
Now we are not afraid, although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains long before we knew we could

Chorus:
There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles, you can achieve,
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe

In this time of fear, when prayer so often proves in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds, too swiftly flown away
Yet now I'm standing here, my heart so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words, I'd never thought I'd say

Chorus

They don't always happen when you ask
And it's easy to give in to your fear
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see your way safe through the rain
A small but still resilient voice
Says help is very near

Chorus
You will when you believe
You will when you believe
Just believe, just believe
You will when you believe

was told by someone that this song inspires one to study. how apt. we all need miracles :D

it seems like 4 strangers are living in my house. everyday, we go about our daily routine. barely talking to each other with the exception of giving intructions like "water the plants", "lay the table" etc. and these 3 people are supposd to be the closest people i'm to in the whole world. kinship. blood ties. yet sometimes i hardly speack more than 10 sentences to them in a day.

the culprit? blame TV programmes. blame the rapidly globalising world. blame the stressful work env. blame the sucky education system. the end of it all, we ourselves are to blame.

i really miss those days whereby the 4 of us would sit down and watch movies on TV together. i miss the days where me and bro get on each others' nerves and fight (literally) over the silliest things.

the most ironic thing was that the sch announced for a 5-day week this morning. and the truth is that to me, the attempt to be pro-family is pathetic. how many of us will honestly spend the so-called "extra" one day with our families? and the stupidest thing is that they try to delude themselves into thinking that they are NOT trying to squeeze 5.5/6 days into 5 days. and that CCAs actually end earlier when they start early (for like 25mins?)

suddenly i feel incredibly tired. work keeps piling up. stacks of revision left undone. i have no freaking idea how am i going to finish studying in time for the As, much less prelims. if only i had more time. if only i could be a hermit as and when i like. :(

in chem: change in activation energy by altering the ratio of products/substrates
in real life: through mass action, the irritating-ness of something/someone grows exponentially

i sorta found a new meaning in that word today. studying and in a relaxed mood can actually coexist. which is super weird since it's chem, my "best" subject. hopefully, will be able to continue what should have been started long ago throughout the remaining long (figuratively) but short (technically) weeks of my jc life.

not studying alone rocks. esp if the company is someone you can irritate the hell out of and not retaliate (much). fell down while on an escalator today. very sudden. very unexpected. till now, have yet to figure out what happened. i think i gave the person standing next to me quite a shock. :P but come to think of it, it was a funny incident. if only all falls are things we can look back and laugh at and so rebounable.

trying to get tickets 20mins before the starting of a movie on sat night is not a good idea. and for now, it is unsuceedable. it's just one of those aimless thing that people try knowing that it wont work. even after trying three times. s'pore is too small. just try walking on orchard especially on a weekend. you'll definitely bump into people you know, sort of know or think you know.

some people shouldnt dance. others should never be handed a mike to sing. but you really have to admire them for their courage to do that in full public view. i realised that living close to a place doesnt exactly mean being able to reach home earlier.

 
me: the higher i climb the education ladder, the more i realise how useless the things i learn get
dad: it's important that you learn something. even if it's useless.

hahaz... a typical deadpan sarcastic expression. now that i realised from whom i inherited my impatience and temper from, it's a wonder that the both of us have not succeed in killing each other after living under one roof for so many years.

... friendship
It is a good thing to be rich and a good thing to be strong, but it is a better thing to be loved by many friends.

regarding the sisterhood being formed "Jus by pure chance [agree], and not by merit of true friendship [disagree]". ok... so our sisterhood evolved from a rather crappy idea (which was really crappy :P i mean one neoprint later and we're sisters?)  but that doesnt mean that we're "hooded from the truth". in the first place, i believe that none of us is under the false impression or illusion that we're extremely close friends. cos for now, we're not at that stage yet. but it's an undeniable fact that all of us are good friends and having the sisterhood is an invisible thread that bonds us together. heck, it's even a good excuse to coerce people to come down for stuff. ("aye! the whole sisterhood will be there lehz.") finally, the sisterhood has in fact brought me closer to some of my sisters. so still thinks the sisterhood rocks!
 
but everyone is entitled to his opinion. and mine is definitely bias due to obvious reasons :P

was having lunch at a cafe and started to browse through a super old issue of Cleo or something. meanings of names. hahaz... inspired so this is what i found from the net.
 
alex: (Greek) protector of mankind 
carol: (Teutonic) one who is strong
christina: (Greek) annointed, follows Christ 
debbie: (Hebrew) to speak kind words
ivan: (Hebrew) God is merciful
jacqueline: (Hebrew) supplanter
joanne: (Hebrew) God is gracious 
joel: (Hebrew) God is willing, Jehova is the Lord 
karen: (Greek) pure
kenneth: (Gaelic, Scottish, Old English) handsome; born of fire; royal oath 
shirley: (Old English) country meadow 
winnie: (Old English, Welsh) friend of peace; fair

Rapture was fantastic! So happy that everything went well for Karen. =D somehow i think this year's performance was much better than last year. felt that there was less obvious mistakes (though it could be that the stage was bigger and cant spot much. hahaz...) and that the atmosphere in general was better.
 
Has a rather interesting time after the performance too. went on stage at an inappropriate moment apparently and ended up 闯-ing backstage with karen's help. ahaha... funny and fun.  and kept taking photos with the funty people after that. the crazy things we do.

[Liz Callaway]
 
Heart, don't fail me now
Courage, don't desert me
Don't turn back now that we're here
People always say: Life is full of choices
No one ever mentions fear
Or how the world can seem so vast
On a journey... to the past
 
Somewhere down this road
I know someone's waiting
Years of dreams just can't be wrong
Arms will open wide
I'll be safe and wanted
Finally home where I belong
Well, starting now, I'm learning fast
On this journey to the past
 
Home, Love, Family
There was once a time I must have had them too
Home, Love, Family
I will never be complete until I find you...
 
One step at a time
One hope, then another
Who knows where this road may go
Back to who I was
On to find my future
Things my heart still needs to know
Yes, Let this be a sign
Let this road be mine
Let it lead me to my past
And bring me home... At last

it's a weird feeling seeing your name in full when no one quite calls you by that way anymore. half day tml = go to sch for two periods of gp. hahaz... to write an essay which technically can be done at home. but my class is too nice to pangsei ms lee. =P that the crappy racial harmony programme got approved to be put on stage is the most incredulous which happened today.

fellowship was an interesting experience. everything was quite new to me and i learnt more abt the christian faith. misconceptions abt each others cca can be awkward. but it too depends greatly on the person you're talking to. sometimes, it's impossible to explain things. esp when u cant string them into a sentence. esp for "in what sense?", "in what way?" ques. guess the impt thing is seeing beyond the differences.

it sucks when friends and family around you are feeling down. it's more irritating when you know nothing you do or say can make it better for them. hmmz... people actually found wat i wrote to them funny. not sure if i meant it in that context (can't really remember actually). but it's all open to interpretation i guess. :D

dont think you'll see this but still, all the best for rapture tml, ms li!

... try to do mentally stimulating stuff like figuring out html after 12midnight. you only kill whatever limited brain cells you have left from bt2 and end up with nothing done.

... to whatever results I'll receive for bt2

Lord, are you trying to tell me something?
For..

Failure does not mean I'm a failure
It does mean I have not yet succeed
Failure does not mean that I have accomplished nothing
It does mean that I have learnt something
Failure does not mean I've been a fool
It does mean that I had enough faith to experiment
Failure does not mean that I have disgraced
It does mean I have dared to try
Failure does not mean that I didn't have it
It does mean that I have something to do in a different way
Failure does not mean I am inferior
It does mean I am not perfect
Failure does not mean I have wasted my life
It does mean that I have an excuse to start over
Failure does not mean that I should give up
It does mean that I should try harder
Failure does not mean that I will not make it
It does mean that I need more practice

Failure does not mean that You have abandoned me
It does mean that You must have a better idea

preparing for the worst and hoping for the best

internet is really an amazing thing. it makes the world seem so small. people that you've lost contact with suddenly pop back into your life. and you marvel that they still remember that you existed. but then, it's a convenient excuse not to actually meet the people you regained contact with. cos msn and sms is just a press of a button away.

perhaps it's a blessing that two of my bestest friends dont happen to communicate with me very well (at least from my POV) thru modern technology. this way, am forced to meet them face to face. though sadly have not been doing much of that. :(

anw, why cant html be like normal human laguage? scripting is such a chore. the geniuses out there should make scripting even easier. for lazy people like me. haha... btw, thanks to jac and hh for helping me fig out the mysterious thing called tagboard. :D

nothing is constant except change. but some people change so much within a short period of time that you can't help but wonder if it's all an act.

Mark Twain mention that, "It takes a heap of sense to write good nonsense."

Remember that whenever you feel that you're reading nonsense :P

[the Corrs]

I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we have talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

Chorus :
What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better
If I don't try and I don't hope

(Chorus)

No more waiting, no more aching
No more fighting, no more trying
Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just going to let it fly

(Chorus)

Love me...

Your Existing Situation
Easily affected by her environment and readily moved by the emotions of others. Seeks congenial relationships and an occupation which will promote them.

Your Stress Sources
The existing situation is disagreeable. Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the rank and file. Her control of her sensual instincts restricts her ability to give herself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and allow herself to merge with another. This disturbs her. as such instincts are regarded as weaknesses to be overcome; she feels that only by continued self-restraint can she hope to maintain her attitude of individual superiority. Wants to be loved or admired for herself alone; needs attention, recognition, and the esteem of others.

Your Restrained Characteristics
An unadmitted lack of confidence makes her careful to avoid open conflict and she feels she must make the best of things as they are. Circumstances are forcing her to compromise, to restrain her demands and hopes, and to forgo for the time being some of the things she wants.

Your Desired Objective
Intense, vital, and animated, taking a delight in action. Activity is directed towards success or conquest and there is a desire to live life to the fullest.

Your Actual Problem
Takes a delight in action and wants to be respected and esteemed for her personal accomplishments.The fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants leads her to play her part with an urgent and hectic intensity.

from colorquiz



makes me sound so high strung.

the person who came up with templates deserve a nobel prize. well, intend to leave it as such. very primitive. MAY edit if have the time. which is like never. unless someone offers to help. hahaz...

just when am supposed get my priorities right like starting to study, i set up a blog.