que sara sara

i am mad and beyond hope. am doing this again. at the expense of studying.

http://subdued-ecstacy.blogspot.com/

[des'ree feat. babyface]

You're riding in my car
I turn on the radio
I'm pulling you closer
But you keep tellin' me no
You say you don't like it
But I know that you're a liar
'Cause when we kiss
Ooh...

Fire

Late at night
You're taking me home
You say you wanna stay
But I want you to go
I say I don't love you
But you know I'm a liar
'Cause when we kiss
Ooh...

Fire

You had a hold on me right from the start
A grip so tight I couldn't tear it apart
My nerves all jumpin' actin' like a fool
Your kisses might burn
But my heart stays cool

Well Romeo and Juliet
Sampson and Delilah
Baby you can bet
They were burnin' with desire
If I say split
Then you know that I'd be lying
'Cause when we kiss
Ooh...

Fire

When we kiss
I'm on fire
Your tenderness
Gives me desire
I can't resist
Your tender lips
When we kiss
Ooh...

Fire

correcting that in someone else's report ( not really my bloody job but still my bloody business) starting from 1am in the morning is not fun at all. wins! now i know how you feel when those errors are so glaringly apparent and all you feel like doing is re-writing the whole piece of crap again. argh!

btw, to all the exceptionally imaginative lurkers out there, please try not to read so much into this blog. i do write what i mean to say but it does not mean that all i write are related. and if you are one of those compulsive lurkers, then i suggest you spend time doing more constructive things than reading the rants of a 19-year-old. :P

just because i said that i will throw my results of this sem at you does not equate to me having to score good grades (which seems to be an impossiblity at this point of time). it simply means i will throw the results at you. ha! ok... trying to be clever aside, i have to TRY to do something to turn around the possible detrimental consequences.

typically, it's the little things that the people around me do/say that touch me the most.
9 hours of biz law (not continuous of course. do you think i'm mad?) and i'm still surviving. somewhat anw. it's times like this that i amaze myself. haha..

even myself cant quite explain the nature of it, but i'm just happy and blessed that it's there.

mostly brought about by circumstances. sometimes by chance. rarely, no reason at all.

despite complaining to everyone who is interested (or not) in hearing, am in fact blessed in more ways than i deserve.

"...and strangely, the enlivening and riveting aspect of the human experience can be attributed to the way people deal with their soft spots. very often when bounded by relationships of the past, it is often never the actuality of the person or the thing itself that affect us; but rather , the inherent ablity these memories have in stirring up inner turmoil, and emotions that would otherwise, lie dormant...

... soft spots are there to humble us and remind mankind of its vulnerabilities; they are the battle scars of emotional wars waged and triumphed over, they are our fondest times, our happiest moments, our deepest pains, that remain to be embraced..."

am too uninspired to be original. and i dont think anyone wants to hear more whinings about my mundane life.

we are going to become broke and grow fat at the rate we are proceeding. funny how our (ex)colleagus think we dont eat enough. i now realise the importance of having friends not in the taking-exams cycle. to rescue my sanity. to remind me that i'm not the most pathetic one with 12 consecutive days in school. to make me rediscover the magical holiday season ahead.

even though i am utterly drained of my monetary resources after every date with you, thanks for the binging feasts, madness/lameness/sarcasticness and all that are in between. i'll miss you when you leave.

when i'm sleep deprived, i tend to
(a). get emotional and want to cry.
(b). be really pissed with certain people and want to kill them.

(a) is healthier but takes up too much time and energy. (b) is more enticing because i already have a few candidates on hand. heck! i only need to kill one to gain complete satisfaction.

for a place that prides itself to be different, i can see why with the number of strange characters i encounter.

like a foreigner who got traumatised so much that she is supposed to have suffered an almost breakdown because she lost her laptop.
like a double degree scholar who doesnt have the mental capacity to take constructive criticisms.
like a fake bimbo who thinks she can get away for everything by acting bimbotic.

who needs tv when real life is so much more exciting?

who have been part of my life in some point in time:

i dont know why i gave this obsession to write. maybe i just like to capture all the moments in life that touch my heart. maybe it's a form of escape for me. i agree it takes up a lot of time (sometimes too much). and on lazy occasions, i just feel like leaving something hanging instead of completing it. but the bottom line is that i like to put my thoughts on paper. i know we have to move forward in life. however, while rushing through our busy little schedules, i find it good to slow down and look back on past experiences and to relive the memories. perhaps i'm in one of my contemplative moods. or that i want to postpone starting on my reports proper. :P

the time i spend writing blog entries is directly proportionate to the time i should be spending to do my school work.

but i think the sch admin hates me.

evident when i have courses four days a week with the following timetable:
mon 830-1145
tue 1530-1845
wed 830-1145
thur 1530-1845

i cant stand bullshit when it comes to schwork. i hate people who talk big and do nothing. if you have nothing to contribute, for heaven's sake, keep your mouth shut. i hate people who act bimbotic in front of me. i'm straight as straight can be so i'm in no way affected by whatever bimbotic acts are supposed to achieve. i admit i'm a demanding person who doesnt suffer fools. dont try to bullshit me by telling me you cant do this and that cos the resources are unavailable. especially when i can locate them and shove them in your face within the span of five mins. i'm quite sick of having to force people to do work. for God's sake, evereyone is either in the cusp of or already in adulthood. so behave like adults! surprisingly, i managed to keep my temper in check even though i feel like slapping people awake. Gah!

i cant say that i'm extremely close to my parents but they're the ones who taught me my values so i love using them as sounding boards with regards to my relationships with others.

certain experiences have made me learnt to be much more comfortable being myself. i've always been an independent person but i do suffer bouts of self-doubt. i think the most important thing i took away from all these is that there will always be people who accept me completely and that i dont need to pretend to be a person i'm not. and that is very crucial for me and the way i intend to lead my life in future.

you know you have totally NO LIFE when you are going to spend 7 days a week in school. when that week has only two official school days. damn!

thank YOU for making it a little bit better.